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"Pacific Mates" The Local Chapter for our owners from the West Coast, areas include Washington, Oregon, California, Idaho, Nevada, and Arizona.

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Old 10-12-2011, 03:30 PM   #1
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Thought I might share another story. Got a million of em tryin to get out of my head. Now some of the names of the characters has been changed to protect the guilty and cast doubt on the innocent. A certain buddy of ours has been quite put out by commin up short in a little boat race that was held recently. A certain other party to the matchup is been generally content with the outcome of the race. Since the buddy has been real hard on me in the past, I thought that maybe I should kick him when he is down, but just a little. Seein as how Halloween is almost upon us, I figured a good scare might cement his hatred toward me. Now I also been noticin that the Shark don't seem to let hisself get caught in the clutches of darkness. So I been thinkin that a little batch of Scare handed out with just the right amount of darkness present might just produce some interestin outcome. I got a little help and direction from a group of guys that live up by Sharks hometown. They drink, smoke, spit, lie, steal, defame, deface, fight, and don't bath nearly enough. 'Bout thier only bad habit is the cheatin at the poker games we have, but that is another story. I call em the Rat Pack.
I guess I better warn you guys that iffen ya hear of a Bigfoot sighting in the Pacific Northwest in the next few days then you can dissregard it and smile while your neighbors might be talkin about it.
I've been wanting to get a look at Sharks Mom's place cause the Shark does some work on his machines up there. Big barn up there, located a ways from the farmhouse. I'm thinkin that the barn would be just about the right location to let out some scare into the open air. Also, when me and Fast Eddie made some fast and real low passes through the barnyard, in Fast Eddies firebreathing little airplane, not too long ago, I spyed some other cool lookin stuff through the open barndoors. I hear most of the barnyard animals that didn't keel over are still walkin around lookin up at the sky, heh heh....
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Old 10-12-2011, 04:07 PM   #2
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Just watch out for that nasty flashlight eating dog he's got.
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Old 10-12-2011, 04:20 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Jimway View Post
Now I also been noticin that the Shark don't seem to let hisself get caught in the clutches of darkness.
I would assume thats because he's passed out unconsious on whatever he's been drinking by about 6:15 p.m.
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Old 10-12-2011, 09:36 PM   #4
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So anyhoo, last poker night, up in Sharkville, someone had somehow slipped a marked deck into play and since I had brung some eye glasses with me, I was able to make out the marked cards right away. Game was going rather well for me, but there was some unhappy comments commin from some of the others at the table. They kind of like a good story and we was goin over the boat race, and I was embellishing it up just right. There was some small amount of liquid refreshment that was goin down cruel easy. I brought up the thought of a little scare technique and the Rat Pack fell right in with the idea and seemed impressed with my plan and observations that I had noted. I should have known better but when I seen this real lifelike Bigfoot costume get up that got produced from the attic of the shop, I just knew that I had to have it to scare the Shark. I probably shouldn't call it a costume cause it looks so real, right down to these fur covered boots that has these rubber feet attached. I think, and my nose tended to agree, that the skins had come from some dead bears, skunks, a wolverine, and a coupla of beavers. Either that or it had been a real bigfoot that had molted or somethin. Someone had made a form that fits on your head out of cardboard, fiberglass, duct tape, and some other residue. I knew it smelt bad cause while I was bein suited up in it, the first layer of skin peeled right off my eyeballs. I was surprised at how fast and what team players the Rat Pack was while they was suitin me up. Seemed like they had lots of practice as I thought about it later. With the wood blocks on the boots and the helmit like extention on your head and the extentions on the arms, you got to be close to 8 feet tall. The members of the Rat Pack had seen fit to mount red lights for eyes and a voicebox that lets out this blood curtling long moaning wail that would reduce most people to a puddle of bad smellin stuff, while they was standin in a lighted room. I figured that out in the dark the reaction to these effects would be worth noteing and later discussion. The insulation quality of the suit was astounding and my on board temperature gauge in my mind was already registering between the Mohave Desert and a medium blaze inside the suit. We all clambered aboard the flatbed truck and headed out to the Sharks Moms place by way of a back road that comes up parallel to the side of the property. Now out in the woods, it gets real dark at night. It's enough to frighten even grown men that's tougher n nails and such. Years of experience tryin to find my way back to camp at night has hardened me to the pitch blackness, sounds, and giant furry creatures that scurry about at night and try ta bite and slash ya to pieces, so I jumped off the back of the truck and headed off toward the dim light of the Sharks Moms barn up on the rise. The boys said later that I moved real quiet and fast in the get up and it gave em chills just to watch me dissappear into the inky blackness of an overcast, moonless, night....
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Old 10-12-2011, 09:56 PM   #5
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Just watch out fer gopher holes in them big rubber feet!
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Old 10-12-2011, 10:46 PM   #6
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That dogs gonna eat your azz up. lol Don't get your self shot up there in them woods! I hear the banjo playing in this story.
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Old 10-13-2011, 06:43 AM   #7
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Old 10-13-2011, 11:43 AM   #8
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One of the reasons I was moving silent was all of the previous mentioned experience at navigatin the woods at night, no sense at stirrin up a pack of wolves, a den chock full of grizzlys, or even a real Bigfoot. The speed with which I was running, which I would call a lope, comes in real handy if you run into a giant furry set of teeth and claws that's tryin to bite and slash you. You can easily accelerate to full throttle at even the sound of a twig bein snapped by a woodland beast. The other reason for a stealth type of approach was to get the full effect of lettin out some scare in the presence of the Shark. As I was gettin close to the backside of the barn, which is not that difficult to hit, so don't let your huntin buddys tell ya that your shootin skills are that poor, I noticed that the back door was open, so I walked right in. Now I was feelin pretty pleased with myself and expecting to see quite a spectacle. The barn is pretty good sized. Made out of old growth timber and built to withstand pretty much anything. On the end toward the farmhouse, There is a section that is set up for workin on ve-hicles. I got to tell you that I was envious right away. Lots of tool boxes, welders, jacks, and a lift too. There was a lot of evidence left behind by a lumberjack, like chainsaws from the 1800's and axes and all kinds of cool stuff. Being kind of a car nut, which is real different from bein a plain nut, I seen this 29 roadster sittin in the corner. Couldn't be none other than the Streamliner I've been hearin about. The look, taste, and smell of speed was dripping off of it while it was just sittin there in the dim light. I noticed it winked at me and smiled all coy like. I was all caught up in lookin at the Streamliner that I didn't hear the Shark and the Cadaver until they came through the front barndoor that was open part way. " Smells like thar might be a bahr about " says Shark. " Yup " says the Cadaver. " Careful Ace " says Shark," I thank I's detectin some Skunk about too "....
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Old 10-13-2011, 02:13 PM   #9
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Now I got to stop here for a few moments and tell you about that sweet little roadster. She was made up in a coupla different shades of hot rod primer, mostly grey. She has had considerable work done to her and probably is made up of several different auto-mobiles. I got to hand it to the Shark on this one cause the Streamliner is one bad lookin roadster. Its been lengthened to cover some kind of V-12 engine that is nestled under the cowl. Body has been lowered onto the frame. Body has been modified to seat the driver in the center of the interior under a small roll bar. Open interior is covered by bodywork for streamline effect. I'm guessin that when the SharkPilot is sittin in the car, only the top part of his helmit is showin. It's like all of what's left of the body has been shrunk around the motor, transmission, driver, and rear axle. It has four wheels without fenders, bigger ones in back, small skinny ones in front. They look like Halibrand Center Knock Off racing wheels with high speed tires. Sticking out the front of the radiater, way down low, is a big supercharger that must be driven off the front of the crankshaft, airscoop on one end, plumbing pipes on the other end runnin back toward the top of the motor. I'm pertty excited to be standin there lookin at her and thinkin I would love to see this thing in combat, cause it has the look of maybe 250 mph and some change. Sits a little higher in the back than the front which is down pretty close to the floor. She has a parachute pack out back in between two push bars for startin the car, impressive. All the stuff like headlights, windshield, door handles, fenders, and such has been removed in the name of speed....
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Old 10-14-2011, 12:11 AM   #10
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So as the Shark is opening up the barndoor, I turn around quickly to face the Shark and Cadaver. Figurin that the time is now ripe to let out some scare, I trigger the red light eyes of the Bigfoot suit. " WWhhaaazat?? " says the Cadaver. I step forward out of the shadows and raise my arms as the long soul shattering screeching moan lets out. At first I'm thinkin that I have done real good cause I can see the whites of thier eyes all around thier pupils." Aaaiiihhheeeeeeeeee " says the Cadaver as he turns toward the house. His feet are going forward and backward so fast that you cant hardly see them, as he slowly topples over toward his left. As he hits the ground, I see his drinkin glass fall from his hand, and I know he has fainted dead away. " Good gosh in Tarnation Almighty " screams the Shark as he heads toward the house at a respectable speed pretty close to lightning. " Mah, Mah, Mah,..." screams the Shark in a pretty high pitch voice, and I'm thinkin that I scared em so complete that he is a callin for his mother. When the Shark finished the sentence with " Get maah gun ", I suddenly realized that I hadn't made some good decisions that evening. As the Shark was sayin " Mah, we is gonna be rich as soon as Ah can shoot it, the coil springs in my legs was building to the breaking point. I also realized that I was silloutted in the light from the door. As my eyes focused past the Shark I could make out the Sharks Mom shouldering some kind of cannon. It blinked blue at me and a bunch of rocksalt flew by and pepered the open barndoor. My feet turned around 180 degrees and told everything else to head for the hills. In the split second that it took for the coil springs in my legs to let go, there was another shot. I may have forgotten to mention that I was carryin the award that Fast Eddie had cobbled up for the Shark. The second shot blew it clean out of my left claws. " Gosh dahrn woman, ya missed it, gimme thet thare fireahrm " screamed the Shark. Since I had accelerated to about three times the speed of sound, I was movin at about the same speed as the third shot, and immediatly recognised double ought buckshot hangin in the air next to me. This caused my body to throw all available speed toward some kind of escape. In all of the excitment, I triggered the soul searching howl again. " Did ya hear thet, I got em, I got em" said the Shark excitedly....
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