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RED-NECK I AM

Big Red

Big Red

Well-known member
Well today I bet my neighbor 50.00 that a leaf blower could not push a john boat over 5 mph. After a few 12 packs the bet was on. We did the test run in my pond. He lost, the boat barely moved. I don't know if I am a RED-Neck or down right country but if you hang around me long enough a good time will happen.

PLEASE NOTE ANYTIME A RED-NECK ACT IS COMITTED A COOLER OF COLD BEER MUST BE PRESENT
:cheers :cheers :cheers :cheers
 

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You know what, I need your help with something.

Just exactly how do those touch on / off lamps work?

Me and a buddy (with beer) tried and tried to figure it out one time. Steak won't turn it on and off. Your hand is just a big piece of meat isn't it? Why won't steak work?

Cats paws don't work.

Metal objects in your hand don't work.

But even if you're wearing electrical hazard rated boots, you can still turn it on and off with your finger. It can't be a grounding thing......

Hmmmmmm just thought you may have some input. It's been baffling us for years and he's a Mechanical Engineer.
 
Okay I am on vacation for 2 weeks I will buy one and give you the run down on it. You got me thinking


OKAY WE HELD THE BLOWER AT EVERY ANGLE POSSIBLE IT WILL NOT WORK AND WE DRANK PLENTY OF BEER AND WE DID NOT CARE ABOUT THE LEAF BLOWER ANY MORE SO IF THEIR WAS ANY WAY POSSIBLE TO PUSH THE BOAT IT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

meet the captain RONNIE ROYAL
 

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Aaaaaah the old John boat Jet Blower trick

OK It's clear to see the problem. A small boat and a big cooler. Cooler full of beer 50 lbs. Add ice and you have about 75 lbs. Take the massive cooler out of the lil boast and it will haul ass!
 
Thats funny.. Maybe you need to put a blower on the blower to get more power to push it.. :lol: :rof: :) Jamie / Lakeside

That was my thought too, it needs a bigger blower!!!

we are not looking for a wind driven sail boat here!!!, they never go superfast... you need a water jet boat, try more beer and setting it in the water (deep enough that you dont cavitate) so the impeller would pick up water instead of air.... dont forget to wear a life jacket for this test, it should be much more successful... i would think a 150% increase in speed can be expected. you may have to narrow the end of the tube to create pressure.

also - need more info to really trouble shoot this severe under power issue... ie. gas octane, pitch, ratio, etc... is the blower worn out or does it still show good compression??? was the timing right? - it looked to be mid-afternoon. maybe later in the day after about say 12 more.
:cheers :cheers :cheers :cheers :cheers :cheers
That was just way too funny Red. nothing wrong with a little collar color, i wouldnt give up on it just yet. I have wondered if I put a window fan blade on a weedeater if that would work like those gator boats in florida... or one of the older metal blades about 12" on an elec fishing motor would work.

(dont think i will sign my name to this one)
 
i was reading this to my wife who was wondering why i was killing myself laughing - her solution makes sense - twin leaf blowers - you need more power! you need a bigger leaf blower - that one is to small!
 
BullittBen said:
Just exactly how do those touch on / off lamps work?

Me and a buddy (with beer)...
Click to expand...

well i originally responded thinking the static elec we have as humans... cats may be on a different frequency and a steak is dead and too large an area for our low current to pass. but the rubber glove thing defeats that theory.

could it be we create a magnetic field since we have iron in our blood flowing, kind of like those electric lights that you touch and lightening jumps to the edge of the glass, you dont have to actually touch it but rather just get close... perhaps it still has something to do with the megahertz frequency of house current vs humans and the elec field we generate.
 
BullittBen said:
You know what, I need your help with something.

Just exactly how do those touch on / off lamps work?
Click to expand...


Nearly all touch lamps work because of a property of the human body called capacitance, which is the ability to store electrical charge. Most touch lamps employ an oscillator, which is a type of tuned-circuit amplifier that produces an AC current, that is, one that regularly switches its polarity back and forth. The oscillator is connected to the metal parts of the lamp. When you touch the lamp's metal housing, you introduce your capacitance into the circuit. Now the oscillator has to pump charge into a much larger surface area--yours plus the lamp's. That causes the oscillator to detune, or change frequency. The lamp detects this change and toggles the light on or off. Kitty has capacitance too, but since she's much smaller, hers is a lot less than yours and isn't enough to trigger the lamp. A larger animal like an average-sized dog would, in case any touch-lamp owner is looking to teach his pet a new trick.
 
ill drink to that

and then ill drink to my drinking, to my drinking, to my drinking to that. there aint but 2 kinds, good ole big ones and big ole good ones. i dont see what you get outta that, but where can we get anutther one. im trying to get as much out of this body as i can so im going to live each day like theres no tomorrow. one of these days ill have a fast boat, cause mine only look fast. ask my friends, they dont thank me for the ride that cost me 40$ in 5 minutes, cat got their toung, alley kat that is. my boats so slow that no body will ride w/me and the capt anymore. i wish i could figure out how to send some pics of this bunch of rednecks when they ride my smilemaker 2. the sticker on the dash of sm1 and hood of sm2 explain it perfect. look at the smile on captain morgans rum ad in the 50th annv playboy mag. we get hangovers in our cheeks, and nothing else works, no matter how much we do, after we get in. that adrenalin is some good sh**. ide like to try some in a fast boat some day.
 
man, somebody tell me how to post pics of smiles

ive got pics of corners of mouths touching ears, due to the sound of hand grenades turning 7200 rpm, in the trough of a 2'chop, in my pontoon boat with training wheels. super dave put them springs on my throttles, but more air in the stirring allows me to let go and hold my cup to my smile, and wash my friends face, my cheeks, and the handgrenade covers, all in 30 seconds of a 2 minute flight in my slow boat
 
ill add some whiskey

smsmith36 said:
Try adding half a can of your beer to the gas to boost the octane a little.:eyecrazy:
Click to expand...
im an alcoholic and dont try to tell me i aint. good thing i dont drink beer. was under the hood of my 85 enchanter mixing some black (magic) velvet, when all of a sudden i heard "prepare to be boarded". the 3 drunken rednecks with me couldnt see the bright orange boat with flashing blue light. i told them i was adjusting my foot throttle. i had about a half a 1/2 gallon in me and sobered up quick. they tied on and drug us for an hour checking id & registration. they couldnt believe that my 85 check enchanter was my htg, cooling and electric inc workboat. i work on some inhabited islands in the ches bay. co-pilot was out on parole for murder(killed his stepdad while beating his mother), the other 2 rednecks in the back couldnt talk after the 10 minutes of 7400rpm in 1'chop and my 75- 4stroke pushes my 21' 1mph per horsepower. hahaha you know your a redneck when you got a 75 on a classic check. found the cover on e-bay for 100$ and my 2.5 barely fit in it. not a beer can in the boat, and nothing but empty ginger ale bottles in the cooler. good thing they didnt look under the hood and see the 2 empty 1/2 gallons and 1/2 full one. i had a solid good stagger just before we got in the boat, and my sealegs arrived just in time. i passed w/ flying colors and got a certificate if inspection, as i have my work boat safety above and beyond requirements and insured for a mil. how about that for some lucky rednecks?
on the way out, they were hauling another boat in with the capt in handcuffs. i went by them with a rooster about a 100 foot off the back, all 3 passengers in the back seat, and gps said 77. bet they were wondering about that 75 merk. haha:cheers
 
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