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Sharkbait's at it again

Got a call from Fast Eddie at the Skunkworks. This is unprecedented. Fast Eddie doesn't talk to many people. I've become a kind of celebrity up there cause nobody ever gets a call from Fast Eddie, so I'm basking in the limelight, so to speak. Fast Eddie wanted to know if I could bring up the intake grate and wear ring from the Mate. I dropped what I was doing and took the stuff up there as fast as I could. Traffic was really heavy. They got marking tape around all of the machines now so I cant get too close. They like to give me a hard time since the x-ray machine incident but that is another story. Rumour has it that Fast Eddie can tear down a V-12 Packard Merlin in 15 minutes, troubleshoot it and reassemble it and even fly or drive whatever it gets bolted into. Seen the new impeller. It was still warm from this fancy machine that can mill stuff in the fourth dimension. The x-ray machine can look through metal for flaws and then make a three or four dimensional picture of it and then the fancy milling machine can produce one. Pretty cool stuff. I think some of the equipment up there is on loan from NASA, I'm just sayin. Anyhoo, Fast Eddie says he's gonna do a little work on the intake grate and wants the wear ring to fit real tight to the impeller. He says its going to cost me a rewire of his little vacation cabin. Sounds like a bargain. Should have the stuff ready Thursday....
 
Hope Sharky can't read

Reading this tread is more fun than I get in an average day.

Jim as Sharktail is likely reading this thread by now you may want to stop posting all the performance improvements your making and keep all speed info after you get it back together to yourself till after the race. I'm sure that was your intent but someone from Sharky's home town is going to find this thread and fill him in.
Good Luck
 
You know,I been thinkin about what Kars said but I don't think the Shark has a computer. We're all gonna know if somone has been talkin though. Now get this, Fast Eddie wants me to bring the nut that holds the impeller onto the shaft so's he can cobble up one that is streamlined to the contour of the impeller. Says he is gonna make a special tool to install the nut. Oh be still my pounding heart. Don't think I'm gonna get any sleep tonight.
 
Skunkworks first thing this mornin. Man, I just can't describe the sights and smells of the joint. The combination of engine oil, hydraulic fluid, avaition gas, jet fuel, fresh paint, enamel reducer, and more stuff like that is enough to make a person swoon. Fast Eddie likes to hear a good story, so I tell em what I been up to lately. Kind a got myself ita a spot when I told Fast Eddie that I didn't think the new prop nut was gonna fit up in there. Everyone that was standin there kinda turned different colors and thier mouths all dropped open at the same time. Had ta think on my feet and real quick said that some stupid electrician must a forgot to mention that the impeller bolts up from the back and a shaft sticks clean through to the stator. Fast Eddie chuckled right away and I seen nods of approval from the back. Fast Eddies chest was out to here when I asked him if I could keep the new prop nut and maybe mount it on the trophy wall in the shop at home. Showed some pictures of the Mate around and I think them guys fell in love with her. I made some more browney points when I asked Fast Eddie about any important installation requirements he might be able to help me with. He said to make double sure that the tailshaft bearings are not worn cause the new impeller is real tight to the wear ring. We spoke about a coupla other items and then they was playfully pushin me toward the back door, seems the owner is still a little miffed at me and they were expectin him in first thing. I'm excited to try this new stuff out....
 
Whooo-weee boys, I think the guys at the Skunkworks must a sprinkled some magic on them new parts. The old Mate's a workin pretty fair. I haven't made a speed run yet cause the lake law was keepin pretty close watch but the engine is running much more loaded now. Also, for the first time, you can hear the gears whine in the gearbox, kinda plays a tune, sounds good. Even my drinkin and wrenchin buddy the cat was suitably impressed by the appearence of the new parts for the Mate. He showed up in the garage a while back with some wild story about coyotes and timberwolves and was wonderin if he could borrow some tuna and he just stayed on for a spell. After he has had a drink or two [ I Wont let him smoke in the garage ], his English is real good. He tells me that his favorite drink of choice is these real special white russians I mix up for him and me. Ya kind a got ta keep a eye on em cause he'll take a swipe at ya every once in a while when his eyes go all black. After he gets his powerful thirst quenched though, he is real affable. Anyways, the other reason I had to keep forward velocity down was the number of folks at the lake, it was real busy with them tournament type of boats that make a great big wake. Believe it or not, I'm expectin to see ole Sharkfin this weekend and maybe come up with a gameplan. There's been talk of a labor day weekend speed contest on a certain mountain resevoir. They are sayin that the drivers are like speed type gunslingers with sleek, rare, high horsepower speed machines that cleave through the water and air like a flash. They are sayin that they are gonna go at it for five miles from a dead stop then through the canyons and end up passin under this narrow bridge where some pictures are gonna get snapped when the winner comes blowin past. They say that the rare sounds of modified race engines is gonna echo off the hills and through the valleys like thunder. Rumour has it that there is some dollars at stake in addition to bragging rights. Man, I gotta see this....
 
The lake law kepping an eye on you.
Surprise Surprise!:shakehead:

Another great story Jim. There always a good laugh.
 
The Plot Thickens up a Bit

Found the Shark hangin drywall at the shop that I just wired. He was real excited to see me and wanted to go over everything that happened the other night. I can tell that after sharing a near death experience with me that he now considers me more of a friend than before. He was shakin my right hand with his and poundin on my back with his left hand while he was gushing about what a great job a drivin we both did. He said he found elk tracks in the bed of the Ford after the run and was wonderin if I had any similar coincidences. I told him that there was no tracks but that there was a substance back there in my truck that was left behind by a real scared stiff elk. He chuckled when I told him I flat spotted a real expensive set of tires. He got this kind of " I can't believe we are still here " look when he stepped close and whispered, son, that was a close one. Wow, he called me son, I thought to myself. He got quiet and reverent when he started talkin about what he heard comin out the pipes of my truck the other night. Said he been down to the Mohave desert flats a few times and knew the sound of a built Jimmy six banger but that he never heard one quite like mine. Suddenly my chest was out to here as I described all of the stuff that has been done to it. The Sharks eyes was all big as I told the story of me and my Grand Dad buildin this thing up from nothin. Next thing I know, the Shark is goin on and on about this 29 Roadster he calls the streamliner and how he managed to scratch out some record speeds back in the day. For a moment there I could make out that the Shark was 18 years old and standin there in blue jeans with rolled up cuffs, wearin penny loafers on his feet. His hair was slicked all back into one of them ducktail hair doos and he had a pack of Lucky Strikes rolled up in his sleeve. As my eyes focused a little closer, suddenly it wasn't the Shark anymore. This guy that has come forward from the shadows is got to be more than a hunnert years old. and looks like he died a while back but never fell over yet. I nickname em the Cadaver. Sharkie introduces him as Horace, a hell of a mechanic and buddy. Old Horace sticks out this skeleton hand and says " My friends just call me Ace ". Now its early in the mornin and I cant help but notice that Ace is already drinkin some of the Sharks lightnin in a glass. What really blows me away is that when he shook my hand he kind of tossed his drinkin glass up, shook my hand real fast like and then grabbed that glass again and didn't even cause a ripple in the booze, that was impressive. So about right here is where I ask about this Labor Day run that is about to commence and I see ole Shark and the Cadaver exchange a worried look between theirselves. The Cadaver starts to croon like a used car salesman about how we maybe might have to wait a spell cause the town has this big Labor Day swap meet and the resevoir is gonna be full of boats and people. I'm thinkin that the boat ain't runnin too good or maybe not at all but I keep this to myself as I see this vision of five Benjis wavin hello to me. I get shook back to reality when ole Sharktoe blurts out that he sure would like to take a gander under the hood of the old truck some time so I real quick tell him that maybe some day he could show me this streamliner he's been talkin about. Shark smiles like a kid lookin at a whole bag of his favorite candy. Before I leave, I tell em both that I'm workin on my old little boat and if I can get her to run for a little bit I'm gonna take her to the lake. The Shark kind of lowers his head and turns and kind of tucks his chin by his left shoulder and I can just see him mouthing the word smart*** to the Cadaver...
 
Got a call from Fast Eddie to come get the carbs. Looks like ole Jimmy is going to be going for a ride through the atmosphere cause Fast Eddie was assembling this flat opposed six cylinder aircraft engine that says Lycoming all over it. Requested that I be available for a test ride, says the thing is fuel injected and even turbine-charged. Oh Baby. Fast Eddie waved the magic wand over them carbs and even flow matched em on the flow bench and even has some recomendations on the jet sizes to get the fun started. I could detect resentment on some of the faces in the shop when Fast Eddie offered up the ride to me. Says the aircraft is fully aero- batic, whatever that means. I noticed right here that some of the guys ducked their heads down and chuckled amongst themselves. He also said somethin to the effect that boat owners don't know how to spend money. Not sure what to make of that one yet. Had a run in tonight with a neighbor I call the Test Pilot from a Broom Factory. She gets all worked up whenever I fire up the Mate in the drive. I thought I might ask for some advice on how some of you guys handle the PR work in the neighborhood. I'm thinkin that a double throwdown linelock burnout with the Chev right in front of her house might be in order but maybe there is another way. Might take some of the flat spots off them rear tires too. While she was standin there sayin a bunch of stuff that I wasn't listenin too, the cat showed up and said that his throut was all dry and the sun was that hot on the fur coat he was wearin. I knew it was time for some refreshment. He said he took a coupla swipes at the Test Pilot while I was brewin up some drinks and sent her home screamin somethin about a Wildcat. Now that he mentioned it, he does kind a look like a wildcat. Hope to be out on the water to start tuning the carbs. P. S. The cat tells me that the Test Pilots dog is responsable for some of the leftover stuff I been finden in the yard and if I set up the game camera that I can get some photographic evidence to use to my benifit, now who says that cats aren't smart?....
 
Been a hectic week around here. Think I can darn near change jets on them carbs with one hand behind my back. Been hittin the lake early and stayin late to take advantage of smooth water. Happy to report that the Mate is ready for combat. She's come a ways. She has not run better or faster since I found her layin next to a garage. Been up against a 270 HP Yamaha Exciter and put it away real quick. The Shark is gonna be runnin the 220 HP model and I'm thinkin that them 5 Benjis are as good as mine. We'll see.
 
Rattle at the Resevoir

I was gonna call it Rumble at the Resevoir but maybe you might be gettin some ideas as to what might have transpired over the Holiday Weekend. The early mornin meetin didn't turn out like I thought it might. We decided on a different place to run the matchup that was less populated. Worked out to be about 1/2 way between each of us so I didn't have to drive for almost 2 hours. Real nice quiet spot to launch and park and no launch fee niether. Beautiful blue sky, sun not quite peekin over the hills yet, Mount Rainier starin down at a coupla old grayhaired fellas with cold grey eyes sizing each other up. There was just a hint of a breeze lightly ruffelin the water. I can tell ya that the water was ice cold right off the glacier. Air temperature was in the low forties too. The Sharkmiester has never seen the Mate up close, and he is in love. While I was uncoverin the vessel, I could tell he was head over heals for her. He didn't make no cracks about the flamingo stripes neither. He kept walkin around it and lookin down the sides and then rubbed on it. While he was rubbin on it he kind of had his lips pulled back straight with his teeth clenched and was real quietly sayin " whew ". There was some dirt on the front from the road trip up and he even pulled out a hanky and wiped it off. I likewise looked at his craft and made some comments on how good it looked and stuff like that. Scared me pretty good when I peeked inside and seen the Cadaver sleepin on the floor. Shark commented on old Ace beein into the lightnin most of the previous evening. We ended up puttin em in the bed of Sharkspeed's Ford, wrapped up in a sleepin bag. Well I got ta tell ya that when I opened the hatch to turn on the battery, ole Sharkpower darn near fell over a countin sparkplugs and carburators, or as he pronounces them, carbon-e-raters. I'm thinkin he was expectin to see a 90 or 120 Sport Jet. He stood there strokin his beard with his thumb and index finger. So I deposit the Mate into the water, park the truck, and offer up some help to the Shark to get his boat in the water. Took em a while to get the trailer situated on the ramp cause he was sufferin from the previous evenings drinkin, I'm just sayin. At one point, as the Shark bounced off the dock with the truck, the Cadaver sits up straight and belts out " tight is tight and broke is broke " then falls back asleep. I just grinned and shook my head. It was real impressive when old Sharkpilot fired up them motors one at a time and they have a tell-tale water bleed out the side of the hull when the motors are runnin, pretty cool stuff and sounded real good too. So I light off the Mate and idle out together with the Shark. He gets into the throttle pretty quick while I'm givin the Mate the customary warmup. Sounded real healthy. Now you should have seen the look on old Sharkies face as I slowly advanced the throttle on the old Mate and she poked her bow way up high for a moment before she came up on plane just beginning to clear her throut. I guess I'm gonna hold up here and ask if anyone might have a thought on what might have happened next?
 
Jimway said:
I guess I'm gonna hold up here and ask if anyone might have a thought on what might have happened next?
Click to expand...


My guess is that Old Sharkbait was so hung over that he forgot to put the plug in. His rig began to sink and you were forced to tow his half filled boat to shore for the Cadaver to bucket out.

HD
 
Jimway said:
...get the trailer situated on the ramp cause he was sufferin from the previous evenings drinkin, I'm just sayin. At one point, as the Shark bounced off the dock with the truck, the Cadaver sits up straight and belts out " tight is tight and broke is broke " then falls back asleep.
Click to expand...

THat is some funny stuff right there!
 
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